Eighteen months ago, I asked my readers what album defined their coming of age. Well, this week, I’m going to ask that question again from the cinematic perspective:
HAROLD AND MAUDE. It was 1971, I was a sophmore in High School, so got over the awkwardness of being a freshman. Was allowed to go to the movies in a car with other kids as long as there were more than 2 of us in the car and of course, the one driving had a legal license. We drove up to Northampton, MA to see this film at a cool college movie house. The people I was with were grossed out by the May-December love story. (I knew then that my "friends" would not be my friends much longer) I was transfixed by the idea that Life was for living and do what you want and who cared what other people thought. It was your life and it could be over too soon. Heady stuff for a 15 year old. I will always love Ruth Gordon's performance in that movie. She was transcendent.
This is one of mine, too, though I discovered it around 2000, when I was a sophomore or junior in high school. I rewatch it very infrequently because it’s such an experience each time.
KIDS (1995) - Larry Clark. Although I didn't live in New York City, I was a skater, and this film was reflective of the skate culture, although there weren't any women skating in my time, the parties were like this and the only thing missing is the illegal raves in the countryside, where we lugged speakers out into the corner of a paddock and partied until the sun came up.
The next obvious candidate is STAND BY ME (1986), which came out when I was 12 years old and also quite reflected my life roaming up in the Port Hills behind my parents house, building little dirt forts with fallen branches and storing my shoplifted pick-your-path books in them. No dead bodies by the railway though
I guess it's because we had 3 - 4 hours between after school and our dinner 'curfew'. So I would skate 20 min into the city and hang out with an unruly bunch of kids from other high schools who all skated. Christchurch was a rugby town, so most of us were decidedly alternative kids without much parental supervision (though god knows my parents tried) - KIDS. If I didn't do that, it was to go and hang out in the tussock hills above our houses and make up adventures like climbing cliffs, building hill forts, collecting mushrooms - STAND BY ME.
Both of these are really good. I first saw KIDS at 12 in my basement during a party or sleepover thing, someone had brought a copy. We were way too young for it and it was fkg upsetting as hell (though I couldn’t reveal that in front of others).
Legends of the fall, made me realise that only I, I could change the course of my life. The portrayal of the family dynamics gave me a new awareness of my own desires, but also the importance of family
The Road Warrior. It made me want to make movies. I never did, but it did make me begin to watch movies with a “how did they do that?” perspective. It’s really the opening sequence that did it. “I remember the road warrior, the man we called Max…” This framed Max as not just a man but as a myth for a new world. It colored everything that happened after. I hadn’t yet read any Campbell or Jung, but this planted a seed of interest about how we make myths.
Heathers. I didn't want to change myself in high school to fit in, and it was interesting seeing that play out on screen. Also totally nailed the mean girls.
Cool Hand Luke. 1967. Paul Newman. Hard to underestimate him as an exemplar of masculinity (for good and bad). There was a wounded quality to him. In the film he's a nonconformist. A guy that is taking in to the man. Anti establishment vibe that was a coming to fruition across the nation. How could you not love him, even if the character has a strong streak of nihilism
Dead Poet’s Society when I was 15- I’ll never forget sitting in the theater after credits rolled in a state of shock and awe- my heart completely obliterated but my soul somehow newly on fire - feeling things I had never felt before and never knew existed. I was changed for good when I left that theater- not only in love with movies, but in love with poetry and drama and all the deeper truths that make life worth living and fighting for. I had been a fan of movies my whole life, but that film opened my eyes to the power of Art.
I've been lucky enough to become friends with Tom Schulman over the years. I don't know how any screenwriter could follow that film up. I'd probably have given up. But he keeps doing great work!
I rewatched this a few months ago and was struck by how brilliant it still is and couldn't work out why I hadn't rewatched it much, much more. Why did it resonate with you in the 90s?
Because it was exactly the same timeline as me; I graduated from high school in the same year as the characters in the movie; the music was exactly my music; I didn’t become an assassin, but I did pretty much lose touch with my high school friends. So it was a kind of “what if …” story. And I fell in love with Minnie Driver, who I recently saw in a show in England - “Every Brilliant Thing” - and fell in love with her again …
"JFK" - I was *never* much of a rebel in my youth. Very often, I was as strait-laced as could be. Just a little geeky and weird but still in the mainstream. After seeing JFK, though, a LOT of that changed. It was the first film that opened my eyes to the idea of how power could conspire behind the scenes to fundamentally alter history. Even if the story wasn't true, the tantalizing idea that there were secrets being hidden - secrets that were dangerous - set me on a road into dark dystopian enthusiasm. It primed my love for the X-Files and cyberpunk and dark, urban stories. What's more, as a film, it ignited in me alive of cross-cutting and editing and framing stories around a central embattled hero against unseen and hostile forces. The final monologue by Costner (as Garrison) which ends with him talking directly to the screen saying: "It's up to you" still resonates in my brain. After JFK, I consumed alternative media and conspiracy theory and began to question so much of what I believed. Thankfully, I didn't go all the way down the rabbit hole but the film was a watershed moment for me.
Yeah, it's a film that shows you both the way to question everything about the powerful...and also shows you the way to lose yourself in fantasy. It's interesting how Stone's own life went the latter route in so many ways.
Blazing Saddles. A schoolfriend and I used to go to the cinema together and this was the first Certificate 15 film we went to (I think it was called 14+ at the time). And because it was in the older age bracket it was the first film we had to pay the adult seat price for which was a bit of a surprise but also a kind of proof of growing up.
Harold & Maude. I’d never seen anything like it, and already knew I was a writer so it pushed me in new directions about plot, romance, humor (and the soundtrack!!). I’m from a small town in Minnesota and I was absolutely dying to get out (I did) and I spent my teen years seeking out any media I could that showed me a wider view of the world.
Also, Dogfight. What a quiet but challenging movie. My mother pointed it out on the shelf at Hollywood Video. Another one that hit me with its strange approach to romance and tragedy. And the soundtrack to this one too!
Drowning by Numbers/ A Zed and Two Naughts. Peter Greenaway. Look ‘em up. I came from a civilised, military family. These films slapped me in the face. The apparent civility, the trappings of culture, the whispers, hidden desires. I was goaded into comparing, being the person I thought was a good and moral being. My family fell apart in synchronicity with my deeper readings of the films. When I finished my student years, I embarked on the quest for my soul.
I could say Barbarella, which my dad dragged us to see when I was 10. That blew my mind.
Bur the real answer is Five Easy Pieces, which he took us to see, Christmas night, when I was 12 (an after-Christmas dinner film being a family tradition).
The difference was that while Barbarella was essentially an adult cartoon, Five Easy Pieces was an adult drama.
My family was complicated and chaotic. And that same energy permeated the film. I connected on a deep level.
Now, most folks remember Five Easy Pieces for the diner scene. I find the "father" scene so much more powerful.
Simple but profound monologue, delivered by Jack Nicholson without his usual bluster. Crystalline perfection.
HAROLD AND MAUDE. It was 1971, I was a sophmore in High School, so got over the awkwardness of being a freshman. Was allowed to go to the movies in a car with other kids as long as there were more than 2 of us in the car and of course, the one driving had a legal license. We drove up to Northampton, MA to see this film at a cool college movie house. The people I was with were grossed out by the May-December love story. (I knew then that my "friends" would not be my friends much longer) I was transfixed by the idea that Life was for living and do what you want and who cared what other people thought. It was your life and it could be over too soon. Heady stuff for a 15 year old. I will always love Ruth Gordon's performance in that movie. She was transcendent.
Yeah, this is a brilliant film. Thanks for sharing!
This is one of mine, too, though I discovered it around 2000, when I was a sophomore or junior in high school. I rewatch it very infrequently because it’s such an experience each time.
KIDS (1995) - Larry Clark. Although I didn't live in New York City, I was a skater, and this film was reflective of the skate culture, although there weren't any women skating in my time, the parties were like this and the only thing missing is the illegal raves in the countryside, where we lugged speakers out into the corner of a paddock and partied until the sun came up.
The next obvious candidate is STAND BY ME (1986), which came out when I was 12 years old and also quite reflected my life roaming up in the Port Hills behind my parents house, building little dirt forts with fallen branches and storing my shoplifted pick-your-path books in them. No dead bodies by the railway though
KIDS is such an unexpected pick. It's even odder, paired with something as nostalgic and wholesome - so to say - as STAND BY ME!
I guess it's because we had 3 - 4 hours between after school and our dinner 'curfew'. So I would skate 20 min into the city and hang out with an unruly bunch of kids from other high schools who all skated. Christchurch was a rugby town, so most of us were decidedly alternative kids without much parental supervision (though god knows my parents tried) - KIDS. If I didn't do that, it was to go and hang out in the tussock hills above our houses and make up adventures like climbing cliffs, building hill forts, collecting mushrooms - STAND BY ME.
Both of these are really good. I first saw KIDS at 12 in my basement during a party or sleepover thing, someone had brought a copy. We were way too young for it and it was fkg upsetting as hell (though I couldn’t reveal that in front of others).
Legends of the fall, made me realise that only I, I could change the course of my life. The portrayal of the family dynamics gave me a new awareness of my own desires, but also the importance of family
I was 12 or something and I sobbed in the theater!!
I'm always glad when people show LEGENDS OF THE FALL love!
The Road Warrior. It made me want to make movies. I never did, but it did make me begin to watch movies with a “how did they do that?” perspective. It’s really the opening sequence that did it. “I remember the road warrior, the man we called Max…” This framed Max as not just a man but as a myth for a new world. It colored everything that happened after. I hadn’t yet read any Campbell or Jung, but this planted a seed of interest about how we make myths.
Thanks for sharing, Bill!
Heathers. I didn't want to change myself in high school to fit in, and it was interesting seeing that play out on screen. Also totally nailed the mean girls.
Fan of the film MEAN GIRLS, too?
I enjoyed it, but it wasn’t as personally resonant because by then I was trying to keep up with my six-year-old. I am loving Yellowjackets though.
Cool Hand Luke. 1967. Paul Newman. Hard to underestimate him as an exemplar of masculinity (for good and bad). There was a wounded quality to him. In the film he's a nonconformist. A guy that is taking in to the man. Anti establishment vibe that was a coming to fruition across the nation. How could you not love him, even if the character has a strong streak of nihilism
Newman is such an audacious choice, too, as the anti-establishment, non-conformist!
American Graffiti. It tapped into my burgeoning adolescent desires, discontents, and wonders.
Yeah, this film is a seminal one for me. It's influenced so much of my life and work.
Dead Poet’s Society when I was 15- I’ll never forget sitting in the theater after credits rolled in a state of shock and awe- my heart completely obliterated but my soul somehow newly on fire - feeling things I had never felt before and never knew existed. I was changed for good when I left that theater- not only in love with movies, but in love with poetry and drama and all the deeper truths that make life worth living and fighting for. I had been a fan of movies my whole life, but that film opened my eyes to the power of Art.
I've been lucky enough to become friends with Tom Schulman over the years. I don't know how any screenwriter could follow that film up. I'd probably have given up. But he keeps doing great work!
Grosse Pointe Blank
I rewatched this a few months ago and was struck by how brilliant it still is and couldn't work out why I hadn't rewatched it much, much more. Why did it resonate with you in the 90s?
Because it was exactly the same timeline as me; I graduated from high school in the same year as the characters in the movie; the music was exactly my music; I didn’t become an assassin, but I did pretty much lose touch with my high school friends. So it was a kind of “what if …” story. And I fell in love with Minnie Driver, who I recently saw in a show in England - “Every Brilliant Thing” - and fell in love with her again …
Coming of age, hmmm....
I think 'Stand and Deliver' and similarly 'Lean on Me' shaped my sense of recognizing and fighting against injustice.✊
'Flashdance' for the horny boy in me but maybe weirdly have echoes of struggle and injustice too.😉
"JFK" - I was *never* much of a rebel in my youth. Very often, I was as strait-laced as could be. Just a little geeky and weird but still in the mainstream. After seeing JFK, though, a LOT of that changed. It was the first film that opened my eyes to the idea of how power could conspire behind the scenes to fundamentally alter history. Even if the story wasn't true, the tantalizing idea that there were secrets being hidden - secrets that were dangerous - set me on a road into dark dystopian enthusiasm. It primed my love for the X-Files and cyberpunk and dark, urban stories. What's more, as a film, it ignited in me alive of cross-cutting and editing and framing stories around a central embattled hero against unseen and hostile forces. The final monologue by Costner (as Garrison) which ends with him talking directly to the screen saying: "It's up to you" still resonates in my brain. After JFK, I consumed alternative media and conspiracy theory and began to question so much of what I believed. Thankfully, I didn't go all the way down the rabbit hole but the film was a watershed moment for me.
Yeah, it's a film that shows you both the way to question everything about the powerful...and also shows you the way to lose yourself in fantasy. It's interesting how Stone's own life went the latter route in so many ways.
This is a really good one, I feel ashamed to share Mine they arnt very mature
I don't think they have to be mature!
Blazing Saddles. A schoolfriend and I used to go to the cinema together and this was the first Certificate 15 film we went to (I think it was called 14+ at the time). And because it was in the older age bracket it was the first film we had to pay the adult seat price for which was a bit of a surprise but also a kind of proof of growing up.
Also, great film!
Ha, I love this anecdote. Thanks for sharing!
Harold & Maude. I’d never seen anything like it, and already knew I was a writer so it pushed me in new directions about plot, romance, humor (and the soundtrack!!). I’m from a small town in Minnesota and I was absolutely dying to get out (I did) and I spent my teen years seeking out any media I could that showed me a wider view of the world.
Also, Dogfight. What a quiet but challenging movie. My mother pointed it out on the shelf at Hollywood Video. Another one that hit me with its strange approach to romance and tragedy. And the soundtrack to this one too!
These are two wonderful films, April. I haven't thought about DOGFIGHT in years, but it's wonderful. Wish we had more Lili Taylor in our lives!
Drowning by Numbers/ A Zed and Two Naughts. Peter Greenaway. Look ‘em up. I came from a civilised, military family. These films slapped me in the face. The apparent civility, the trappings of culture, the whispers, hidden desires. I was goaded into comparing, being the person I thought was a good and moral being. My family fell apart in synchronicity with my deeper readings of the films. When I finished my student years, I embarked on the quest for my soul.
Da nada.
I'll look these up, Rasha - thanks for sharing!
I could say Barbarella, which my dad dragged us to see when I was 10. That blew my mind.
Bur the real answer is Five Easy Pieces, which he took us to see, Christmas night, when I was 12 (an after-Christmas dinner film being a family tradition).
The difference was that while Barbarella was essentially an adult cartoon, Five Easy Pieces was an adult drama.
My family was complicated and chaotic. And that same energy permeated the film. I connected on a deep level.
Now, most folks remember Five Easy Pieces for the diner scene. I find the "father" scene so much more powerful.
Simple but profound monologue, delivered by Jack Nicholson without his usual bluster. Crystalline perfection.
I became the "12 going on 40" child after that.
https://youtu.be/H3jEPpORApc?si=qdQhr-Na8o9FdABA
Gah, great anecdote, Lorin. Thanks so much sharing!